I usually go for a break after the Christmas season in January. But this time I took a break much earlier, right after the Christmas Day celebration. On December 25, 10pm, I with six other friends took an Autobus bound for Banaue. We were supposed to stay in Sagada, but it seems every inn was already booked, so we opted for Banaue, not in poblacion Banaue but in secluded Banaue, in the town of Batad.
Batad is an hour of trekking [so said the description, but we took it in 2 hours, may picture taking pa kasi at maraming pahinga hehehe] from saddle point. Saddle point is an hour of jeepney ride from the poblacion of Banaue - an hour of super-mega-rough road. In Batad, one can go to the Tappiya Falls, the Viewpoint and other villages in the vicinity. All by hiking. Our group opted to see the waterfalls.
The hike from saddle point to Batad was already a chellenge, that is why there were already second thoughts about hiking to the waterfalls. But we're already in Batad, so we decided to go. I was really determined to go. I was really determined to see the waterfalls.
We left Simon's Inn around 11am. We brought some snacks and water with us. We were supposed to pass through the Viewpoint, but since it has been drizzling the path was slippery, so our guide, Lorna, decided to take another route that will take us pass the town proper. The alternative route was a steep stairs of rocks. What came to my mind was how to negotiate later the same path returning to our inn. I had doubts if I can do it. But we went on. Upon reaching the rice paddies, Lorna showed us where we have to pass - at the side of the paddies were rocks sticking out about half a foot. We have to step on the stones while holding on to the side of the paddies.And for the most part of the hike, according to Lorna, this is the kind of trail we have to negotiate. Ah, I said to myself, this I don't think I can do. At first, I did not verbalize my doubts. But after realizing that others felt the same, four of us decided not to continue and just go back to the inn. The other three decided to continue with Lorna. And so, Lorna showed us the way back - a short cut that will lead us to a back of a house, where an uphill trail will lead us to our inn. Lorna with the other three continued their hike. The four of us started our way back.
"Sayang. Hindi ko makikita ang falls," I was repeating to myself while going back. I could have tried harder. But I just have to be honest to myself and accept what I cannot do. Several years ago, I would have decided otherwise. I would have insisted to go on. I would not have accepted that I cannot. I wouldn't have let my pride down. But not this time. I know better now that admitting limitations and incapacities is never a failure but a victory of honesty and self-acceptance. It is better to say no when you really cannot and let your pride take some beating, than letting your pride takes the upper hand and believing in an illusion of who you are and what you can do.
After climbing a rock with all our hands and feet, after passing through a hiking path destroyed by a recent landslide, after crossing Mang Simon's babuyan, opting to go back the inn wasn't humiliating after all. Lorna showed us a shortcut to the inn, but it was far from an easy cut. I take pride that the four of us who didn't see the waterfalls, was able to negotiate the short cut. Oftentimes, one says no to one challenge just to face another one. We may opt to retreat in the face of some challenges, but surely we have conquered some. And that is enough for my pride.
