I usually go for solitude everytime my ordination anniversary comes. The primary goal of Solitude is for personal renewal in prayer and faith. But since I enjoy long driving and I get excited going to new places, I always scout for places where I can be renewed spiritually and see new places at the same time. This time I went to San Antonio, Zambales. I wanted to try the newly opened SCTEX and I planned to see the old light house in Capones Island and visit Anawangin, an isolated beach where Pine trees grow instead of the usual Coconut trees. For my prayers, I was quite sure that there will be a parish church in San Antonio, and I can always go to its adoration chapel.
I left Cubao on Sept. 9, Tuesday. I was with Bruno [my revo], my books, my laptop [to do some journaling] and the newest addition to my entourage, Nika [my dslr]. It took me a surprising 2 hours upto SBMA because of the new SCTEX. Then, another 40 mins going to Pundaquit. There, I checked in Nora's Beach Resort.
Nora's Beach Resort
For my spiritual reading I have The Shattered Lantern by Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI. The book discusses the need to recover the experience of God in ordinary everyday living. Maganda yung libro. Malapit ko na nga matapos eh. Natutunan kong muli ang di mapapalitang halaga ng pagdarasal araw-araw.
I arrived at San Antonio town proper at 1 PM. I looked for a carinderia. Wala na daw silang kanin. Nagsasaing pa. Gutom na ako kaya nag hamburger na lang ako. Bente isa. May lettuce, tomato at pickles pa. Nakadalawang burger ako. Then, I immediately visited the parish church, the Holy Infant Catholic Church. Sarado ang simbahan; sarado din ang adoration chapel. Nakalagay sa karatula na may misa araw-araw, 6:30 AM. So, I decided to visit the church the next morning to attend the mass and spend some time in the adoration chapel [pagpunta ko kinabukasan wala daw misa, kaya nag-vigil na lang ako sa loob ng simbahan]. Nagtataka ako kung bakit may nakalagay na "Catholic" church, usually ang nilalagay "parish" church. Kasi pala sa pagtawid ng kalye may Aglipay church, at sa bandang likod may Protestant church.
Holy Infant Catholic Church
Aglipayan Church
Barrio Pundaquit is 4 km. drive from the town proper. I arrived there at 2 PM. I was planning to go to Capones Island around 4 PM, to take pictures of the Old light house there while basking in the colors of the setting sun. But it rained. It rained hard. So, the boat trip was cancelled. I had to satisfy myself by walking along the beach of Pundaquit. The sand was dark grey and was lined with liitle boats. There were no tourists. Only fisherfolks doing repairs to their bancas and children running along the shore. along the shore, I met these three little girls. They were all ready to pose for Nika.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/comeandsee/2851218421/" title="Pundaquit Girls by dengski, on Flickr">http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/2851218421_25ac34cf42_m.jpg" width="240" height="161" alt="Pundaquit Girls" />
I also met Princess, a five year old girl who does not talk, nor walk. She can't. According to her lolo there is something wrong with her knees, and I suppose with her psycho-motor development also. Princess needed a full time 24 hour yaya. Princess' mom works in Olongapo, so the lolo does it for her. The lolo left his job three years ago to take care of her dear princess. I felt there was pity in the grandfather's voice, but there was no condemnation, nor anger, nor hate. And there was hope. They found a convent willing to shoulder the education of Princess provided that she would be able to walk. That is what they are praying for. And I really hope a bright future awaits princess. With a lolo's love which she has, I know she has a future.
Princess was reaching out for my camera. So asked if it is okey to take some photos. Princess smiled and the lolo took a good pose. I clicked.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/comeandsee/2851410113/" title="Princess by dengski, on Flickr">http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3069/2851410113_052e0827c3_m.jpg" width="240" height="155" alt="Princess" />
I had to cut short my solitude in Pundaquit. I was supposed to leave on Thursday, but I decided to leave the next day, Wednesday. I left with important insights. Simple ordinary insight, but important. In my ministry, to be alone is a gift. Maraming trabaho. Maraming dapat gawin. Maraming meetings. Maraming dapat kausapin. Sa buhay ng isang pari, biyaya ang pag-iisa - alone but not lonely. Being alone makes me confront the most important relationship in my life and ministry - my relationship with the Lord. The fact that I am doing what I am doing for the Lord does not guarrantee a healthy and strong relationship of faith with God. It has to be nourished by prayer, by contmplation, by love, by his Word. Bilib din ako sa lolo ni Princess - piniling mag-alaga kesa magtrabaho. Sometimes we tend to believe that what we do is who we are, that fulfillment in work is fulfillment in life, that doing nothing means I am nothing. Priness' lolo found his fulfillment not in his work, but in taking care of his apo, in being a lolo. What we do does not define our total self. Who we are not solely dependent on what we do. Who we are is who God has created no matter what we do. We are his beloved children.
Tama na yan para sa isang overnight na solitude. Oo, sayang hindi ako nakapunta sa Anawangin. Oo, sayang hindi ko napicturan ang light house sa Capones Island habang lumulubog ang araw. Pero puede pa naman ako bumalik eh. Saka marami na akong i-uuwi mula sa Pundaquit. Ika nga ni McArthur, "I shall return!"
